This morning we went in for a D & C and although we have been through a gamete of emotions from the beginning we are confident that God has a plan for our family. After meeting with the doctor yesterday we immediately schedule the surgery. My parents came up which was far more of a blessing that we could have ever thought (and will be forever grateful), and we prepared. How does one prepare, well I don't really know, but I felt like if I said we preparing we were accomplishing something (you know that is list maker in me).
We were a ball of nerves as we left the house at 5:45 the morning and from iv's to discussing the burial remains, my emotions were all over the place. Then the doctor walked in. Yall I met this lady yesterday. Sure we had spoken on the phone, but she did not "know" us. She again explained what was happening and then we got on our knees and we thanked God for his plan and his timing. For holding our baby in heaven until we get there, and healing us as we move on from this tragedy. And for peace and strength for each new day we are given.
There were so many things we wanted for this child, to run through the grass with his/her older brother, to visit grandparents, experience Disney, to have a relationship with the Savior, to sing silly songs at the to of his/her lungs, and to know beyond of shadow of a doubt that this family LOVES them. Then tonight as John Hunter and I were reading Bible stories about Jesus I couldn't help but think, he/she was with Jesus. It was more than a cartoon figure telling about the fish and loves, our child is touching the hands that multiplied that meal. As we read further and we read about Jesus preparing a place for us and I got giddy thinking that our mansion will have a nursery for that sweet child, not decorated in the latest pottery barn bedding, but in the strength, grace, and honor of the Almighty.
Today we grieve, but tomorrow, we hope.