Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Today we grieve

Today as a family we grieve the loss of a little one. A few weeks ago we found out we were pregnant and although we were thrilled there quickly arose some things that we were not "normal" after several blood test, an ultrasound, and doctors appointment, our little blessing has gone home to be with Jesus.

This morning we went in for a D & C and although we have been through a gamete of emotions from the beginning we are confident that God has a plan for our family. After meeting with the doctor yesterday we immediately schedule the surgery. My parents came up which was far more of a blessing that we could have ever thought (and will be forever grateful), and we prepared. How does one prepare, well I don't really know, but I felt like if I said we preparing we were accomplishing something (you know that is list maker in me).

We were a ball of nerves as we left the house at 5:45 the morning and from iv's to discussing the burial remains, my emotions were all over the place. Then the doctor walked in. Yall I met this lady yesterday. Sure we had spoken on the phone, but she did not "know" us. She again explained what was happening and then we got on our knees and we thanked God for his plan and his timing. For holding our baby in heaven until we get there, and healing us as we move on from this tragedy. And for peace and strength for each new day we are given.

There were so many things we wanted for this child, to run through the grass with his/her older brother, to visit grandparents, experience Disney, to have a relationship with the Savior, to sing silly songs at the to of his/her lungs, and to know beyond of shadow of a doubt that this family LOVES them. Then tonight as John Hunter and I were reading Bible stories about Jesus I couldn't help but think, he/she was with Jesus. It was more than a cartoon figure telling about the fish and loves, our child is touching the hands that multiplied that meal. As we read further and we read about Jesus preparing a place for us and I got giddy thinking that our mansion will have a nursery for that sweet child, not decorated in the latest pottery barn bedding, but in the strength, grace, and honor of the Almighty.

Today we grieve, but tomorrow, we hope.

Romans 15:13-- May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.


Andrea said...

Oh Kendra, I haven't been on here in a few weeks, and just decided to hop on this morning. I grieve with you and rejoice with your sweet baby in Heaven. What would we do without Jesus?! If there is anything I can from here on the "South side", please let me know. Praying for you all.

Brooks and Kendra said...

Kendra. I've been exactly where you are a few months ago and Romans 15:13 was also the verse I claimed! I can't help but cry right now as I think of what you are feeling. I'm so sorry! And I'll be praying for you and your sweet family.

Rachael said...

Your words brought tears to my eyes and my heart hurts with you and your family during this time. God will sustain you with His strength & fill you with peace. Rest in His arms of love as you begin to heal....love you!

Kirk and Chrissie said...

Kendra, I'm so sorry for your loss. Praying that the arms of a good God would hold you safe and secure. What a joyful reunion you will one day have!

Tina Chance said...

Sweet girl...I am so very sorry for your loss and totally understand how you are feeling. We have lost 2 babies and it is such a difficult road to travel and brings so much emotion along the way. I am here to talk, if you need someone to listen and know that I will be praying for you and your family. Your sweet angel joins our 2 little ones and it is such a comfort to know that they dance with our Jesus every day, as they wait for us to join them! Love you! Tina

Mama Smors said...

Thinking about you and your family. Love you all and I am grieving with you and praising Jesus with you. One day you will meet that perfect little one at the gates of heaven :)

Debbie said...

Kendra & Eric, as with all the comments from your friends and family, on FB as well as this blog, I am feeling your loss. Between Jason and Becky I miscarried a 17 week little boy. I won't go into the details, but when the nurses thought I should be coming out of the labor room crying, I was thanking God for my boy at home on earth and the one that just met Jesus, and mamma (me) had survived the night! Then 9 months later, arrived a precious little daughter. God's timing, His perfect will is my prayer for you.

Jessie said...

I'm so sorry that you never got a chance to hold your little one, but Jesus has. For that we can both be eternally thankful. Love you,