Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Crazy Girl....

A few weeks ago we had some friends over for a last minute dinner. Eric had been smoking a pork and the food was wonderful (as always). The children were playing and the adults were sitting around the table talking about life, kids, ministry, and marriage.

Eric and I were replaying an event that had occurred earlier that week. We had gotten in a pretty heated argument over something silly (really just miscommunication) but it got blow up way out of proportion. But the whole argument took place over text message. Please tell me you all have been there? What was even worse was we were in the house together while this was taking place. So Eric and I were each defending our sides of the story all while reading the text out loud.(Let me say here that arguing over text is not advisable and since them we have tried really hard to communicate with audible words)  My girlfriend was cracking up and said, "I would love to see that side of Kendra, she is always so sweet, I don't think she has it in her." Poor friend little does she know that there are days I have a crazy person trapped inside me. Do you? Even in college my friend "Big Dog" named my alter ego Mrs. Z (my maiden name begins with a Z), and i always joked that you never wanted to meet her.

I have worked really hard over the past 10 years to not expose that crazy lady to the people around me. But the truth is she exist. You know who meets her the most often, Eric, or my kids, or my family? She comes out even when she is not welcome. Yesterday in Bible Study we were watching the video from Beth Moore. We are neck deep in the study of Esther, but the Scripture she talked about was from Hosea 7:8. It reads, "Ephraim is a flat cake not turned over." Basically what is saying that only one side of Ephraim is exposed. Only one side. Each of us has two sides, and we know what side we want people to see. That is the side, we beautify, the side we build up, the side we update our status on Facebook too, that is the side we make our imaginary boards on pinterest about, but sweet sister we are two sided.

Here is the truth I want you to camp on to today. God wants access to both sides. We cannot be wholly His until he has both sides. What are you so afraid of in your hidden side that He cannot have access to? He loves you, He has engraved your name upon His hand, and He has call you His child? Oh friend I have been there, as early as this morning. Last night I was so mean to Eric, he had a really bad day and was trying his best to be the best husband and father, but I kept beating him up over the smallest things. I knew what I was doing was wrong and mean spirited but  I continued to do it. I spent most of the early hours of this morning exposing myself to God asking for Him to weed out the mean spirit in my life and help me to grow as a supportive and kind wife. Then when Eric woke up I had to humble myself and tell him I was so sorry for my behavior. I could have listed a 1000 excuses as to why I acted the way I did, but that would be all they were.... excuses. In order for me to be better I must expose the BOTH sides to my maker. Have you been there? Do you know what I am talking about? Sweet sister, what do you need to give to Him today.He is ready and willing to take it, He wants you WHOLE and He will help you get there.

After our friends came over for dinner I was browsing Pinterest and I saw this ecard, it was so fitting I had to quickly sending to my friend. Can you relate to this one?


2 comments:

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